


forces of nature

by peppicola



Category: Haikyuu!!, The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Body snatching, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, The Host AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16524770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppicola/pseuds/peppicola
Summary: He wishes he could say no one saw it coming. Wants to say they came in the night, silent and fierce, and that nothing could have been done.In the end though, he knows it's his fault; he was the one who brought everything crashing down.-forces of nature → full of energy, unstoppable, unchallengeable, unforgettable. In short, a person to be reckoned with.





	1. dawn and bloody skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The earth has been taken over by parasitic aliens called Souls. The creatures attach themselves to the back of the brain and spinal cord, completely overriding the body they claim, normally erasing their hosts. When eyes appear to have a silver blue ring around the pupil, it's an indicator of a body inhabited by a Soul.
> 
> Their society is one of peace, kindness, and trust, and after their complete takeover of the earth, they continue to heal the broken pieces left by the humans.  
> However, there are pockets of human resistances exist, hunted and nearly extinct.

His fingers were stiff with cold, his breath a humid mist in the brisk air. Beneath his glove clad hands, the icy steering wheel did nothing to steady a violent shiver, and he gritted the bodys-his teeth. _His_ teeth.

Outside the frost dusted windows, mountains rolled in a sea of white, tough grey peaks scraping at the stormy sky. A gentle blizzard swirled through the cliffs and canyons, leaving whorls of snowflakes to settle in the already blanketed landscape.

Ahead, drifts of snow blew across the road like ghosts, hiding the path beneath.

He huffed, trying to uselessly to warm the vehicles bitter air, and then shoved at the broken heater controls in frustration; his car, much suited to a warmer climate, has began to buckle in the temperature drop. As had he.

_Oh, shut up. My walk to school was colder than this._

Gypsy frowned, a flicker of annoyance taking his attention from the chill. "Would you rather I went and met with my Seeker as planned, Tooru?"

Inside their mind, the human said nothing, only projected his irritation. 

Months stuck inside a shared head had only made his host that much more snide, despite the Souls attempt at appeasing him.

_**A memory of four boys, of powder pink and deep green; there's the sharp scent of freshly waxed floors, and overly bright gymnasium lights. The tallest pinches Toorus' side, and he twisted away with a pout.** _

_You couldn't hurt them if you tried._

There's an air of smugness that surrounds Toorus' thought, knowing he'd won. After all, he'd made Gypsy love them too.

Now it was the Souls turn to be silent. 

He drove on for awhile, the quiet in their mind appreciated. Outside, everything looked the same, and he had no way of knowing if he was even in the right area. Just Tooru's memory of three sistered peaks, lost among the endless mountains.

They were beginning to run low on gas, he'd noticed earlier, and although he already knew they'd have to abandon the protective shell of his car, that didn't make him any more eager.

Realistically, they wouldn't survive or find them; but Tooru didn't break promises.

Another memory edged at his thoughts. This time, one of Gypsy's own.

_**There's pressure everywhere, and a sound, a deep pounding throughout his body.** _

_**Body?** _

_**In a flurry of thoughts, his new brain supplied the word for the earlier noise; heartbeat.** _

_**He reflexively took a deep breath, and felt the air spiral down his throat, burning against the stretch of his lungs. The scent of something sweet, and familiar hung in the air, and he cringed internally; this body disliked overly sweet things.** _

_**Overwhelming sensations, derailed thoughts. Such chaos in this mind, he mused.**_

_**Slowly, he settled into the foreign space, gently probing his senses one by one, for once he established himself, there was no pulling back. The sensations would be his.** _

**_Against_  ** _**his back, there was a cool surface. Metal? He did not shift to find out, the smooth surface beneath his fingertips setting off millions of light pressure nerve receptors in his skin already telling him so.** _

_**He was clothed in something soft, a cotton perhaps. There was a dull buzzing that slowly turned to words, crass and primitive around him, the tones creating instinctive nerves.** _

_**"Healer, I'm simply asking when he will be ready to contribute to our investigation."** _

_**A second, much cooler voice answered, a** **contained** **tartness hanging off her wo** **rds.** " **Your** **investigation, Seeker. Not ours."** _

_**The words jumbled, sounds harsh and crass, then smoothed into sentences in a language now his own. Suddenly unnerved by the conversation, he focused on the coral red light he knew was his closed eyelids.** _ _**It was a familiar shade; his last planet had been of fire and smoke.** _

_**The conversation continued despite his disinterest, loud and clear.** _

_**The ordinary voice of the first pressed on. "-is everyones fight. Look at the danger and violence they are capable of! That the measures even this human took to resist."** _

_**"Souls do not fight wars, Seeker."** _

_**"Are you so blind to danger?"** _

_**There was the sharp click of heels, then the soft puff of air from a gentle closing door.** _

_**With the Seekers presence gone, there was an emptiness to the room, a hollowness** **a thousand times more welcome than she.**_

_**He opened his eyes.** _

_**Flinching, they flicked shut again, the glare of light burning, and bringing tears to his eyes. He raised a hand, rubbing the bodys eyes gently.**_

_**The Healers' breath was quiet, waiting.**_

_**Again, the Soul opened his eyes, fighting to adjust to the light, but this timethe blurs of colours meshed together, settling into the room around them.**_

_**Above anything, the room was decidedly average, from other rooms in...Toorus memories.** _

_**His hosts had been named Oikawa Tooru. This bodys name triggered a landslide of words, To go through, To reach the river, Aobajohsai, Setter, Tak-** _

_**The flood stopped, an odd absence in its wake. Confused, he pressed, searching for the name he'd lost but instead, he was repelled. What was the blockage in this new mind?**_

_**He let it go, and looked again, taking in the room. The walls were a simple lavender, with traditional Japanese traits in the design of the furniture and flooring. The strange mind supplied the knowledge, naming the tatami mats and florescent lights.**_

_**Finally, his gaze was drawn to the Healer who sat on the ledge of the bed near his hips. Her hair was cropped short, and her eyes were a deep black, aside from the reflective blue ring of a Souls inhabitence.**_

_**Her voice was smooth and confident when she spoke.** _ _**"You are one of many lives, and unique knowledge. What shall we call you, wanderer?"** _

_**Another storm of words and information, all relating to wanderer; nomad, vagabond, gypsy-**_

_**Gypsy.** _

_**"Gypsy. My name. It... is Gypsy."** _

He glanced down at the tank symbol again, pulling out of the daze memories often left him in. How much time had passed?

The tank was dangerously low, and a sense of dread filled his stomach. They had maybe minutes before the car slowed to a stop, and then a future no one could know.

 _We've been through worse,_ Tooru thought in his strange, hyper determined way. The prospect of finding his family had him alight with energy.

" _You_ have. Not me."

 _Same thing now,_ he dismissed.

In a way, he was right. This body had. Now Gypsy was simply the one piloting it; a small silver creature attached to the back of his brain, meant to destroy and suppress him so deep he never came back.

But Tooru did come back, and nor was he going anywhere.

Something from the right caught his eye. It took a moment for the Soul to realize what he was seeing, Tooru understanding quicker than he did.

_The Three Sisters._

The set of mountains was unremarkable expect for the way three points crested at matching intervals towards the sky, marking the age old landmark. He'd- _Tooru_ had gone when he'd still captained his volleyball team. And now this was where they would find them.

The thought of their faces sent his pulse racing, this body reacting to them as it always had. As the vehicle sputtered to a final stop, it was enough motivation to grab the bag he'd prepacked, and slip out of the car, the click of the door behind him oddly final. The air that greeted him was biting.

From this point, they would either reach their goal, or die trying. 

_**Haijmes shoulders shook, his deep snorts muffled in Mastukawas shoulder. The taller wasn't much better off, a grin lighting his face.**_

_**Hanamaki, from his seat on the couch, had his hands splayed indignantly, protesting that um, no, Sonic the Hedgehog was most definitely not a top, and the two curled in the corner were losing it.** _

_**"You're gunna look at me and tell me I'm wrong? Am I wrong?"** _

_**Tooru stared at him from his spot in the kitchen, popcorn bowl and beer in hand, and without a care in the world for Hanamakis sanity, said, "Oh? You're going to tell me that Princess Peach isn't a top then?"**_

_**Meanwhile, Hajime had evolved from laughter to silent wheezes, nearly crying from laughter. "You're so fucking stupid, babe."** _

"...As if I wasn't already risking it all for them. You should save those for when I need actual convincing." The Soul frowned, hiking the thick scarf up to cover his nose. The tip already burned with cold.

Yet, Tooru was silent, and Gypsy suddenly wasn't sure if the memory had been for him or the human.

With a shiver and renewed conviction, the Soul began his trek through the snow, grateful for the cover the blizzard would provide for his tracks.

He knew that other Souls would come looking for him, that was a given. Souls cared about each other deeply, and had no limit to how far they would go to help others. That was the way they were.

Gypsy had just never thought he wouldn't want that help.

But finding him would also give them the answers to where the last pockets of humans were, where Mai, Issei, 'Hiro, Haijme were. Where his family were. Where _Toorus_ family were.

That line faded everyday though, the distinction between who his host loved and who he did, and he'd began to love them through Tooru. That just meant he couldn't let the Seekers have them; they'd be lost, erased in place for another Soul. 

_Just like I was meant to be._

Thinking of it made Tooru angry, the Soul knew. If he had disappeared, been erased, the Seekers would have already found his family; Gypsy would have had full access to his memories, and where they were hiding.

A wave of guilt washed over Gypsy, and Tooru winced.

_I'm sorry. I know you didn't know we weren't like the other planets. That we had wills, and spirit. Doesn't make it much better, though._

After that, Gypsy walked on, for a long time. His nose, along with fingers, ears, and toes held a strange numbness, and he knew he'd have to crack his warming packs soon. Tooru protested, though, saying how it'd be better to save them, but the Soul had little care besides losing his appendages.

Once he'd stuck the little plastic warming packs in his mittens and boots, he began the trek again, slightly less frozen.

Yet, a streak of anxiousness coloured his mind. He'd only been walking for a couple hours, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer after dark. The temperature was dropping with the sun, and the sky was already an inky blue. He'd miscalculated.

They didn't even know if this was the right direction. 

With only the supplies for maybe a day in the freezing mountains, and fire off limits for it's smoke, they were a ticking time bomb. The cold was already seeping through the heavy parka and pants, leaving him feeling much worse than in the car, the chill now bone deep.

Time went on.

It was around one in the morning, Gypsy estimated, when his legs began to lock stiff, teeth chattering so hard, it rattled his skull. His skin felt tight, and dry, and it was much to dark to see anything in front of him.

He could've been walking a cliffs edge and never known the difference. Feeling himself ache with cold and exhaustion, he tried to open the last of his heating packs, but his shaking fingers sent it slipping down a slope he couldn't follow, and the sudden urge to cry clogged his throat. 

 _We're going to die without ever seeing them again._ The thought throbbed in his chest, Toorus thoughts reflecting his.

 _I know._ His tone mirrored the Souls, but there was an undertone of victory wound deep within Toorus. It was a triumph, in some sense, and he suddenly knew Tooru would rather go down fighting than live the rest of his life trapped.

_When bodies die, do the eyes fade? ...Y'know, the silver ring that marks an Soul?_

_Yes. We fade alongside you._

Tooru did not say more, but Gypsy knew it was what he wanted. They would find his body human, not held by a parasite. They would find Oikawa Tooru, and not Gypsy.

A log or stone appeared underfoot, catching the Soul off guard. It sent him tumbling downhill, spinning with an awful sense of vertigo, and he was suddenly grateful to be to cold for nausea. There was a final bump, sending him rolling into the drift, and he cringed, feeling the icy snow trickle into water down his neck, and into the creases where his coat met his gloves.

 _We have to get up,_ Tooru struggled, pushing against the Soul uselessly, but it didn't matter. Even if the Soul was too tired to move, Tooru still couldn't break free. 

_I can't. I'm sorry, Tooru._

_No, you don't get to decide for me._

The Souls left hand twitched of it's own accord, but that seemed to be the limit of Toorus reach.

_I'm sorry._

And then, there was darkness.

 

Truly, Gypsy did not expect an afterlife. But he had always wondered if the host he was tied to at the time would be linked to him, when he imagined what came after the Final Death. 

It was oddly dull sensation, but to be fair, he expected nothing.

_We're alive, genius._

_Oh._

The Soul twitched his fingers, and they moved stiffly, skin tight and blood thick . There was a weight pressed across his chest and he held back a flinch when a warm tongue swiped across his face, bringing with it pins and needles. 

Forcing his eyes open, Gypsy was met with soft brown eyes, and a white and brown muzzle, the gentle huffing of a bernese mountain dog blowing across his face. The dog licked his face once more before settling more firmly into the creases of his body, his fluffy head burrowing in the Souls shoulder.

_Katashi!_

Tooru recognized the dog before he did, almost crying in joy. His outburst triggered his memories of the furry beast; of racing down snow covered slopes, and bright summer strolls. 

_**Tooru is fifteen, and there's a squirming puppy in his arms, too excited to be held in a lap for something low-energy like being held. Biting back a pout, the teen placed him back on the ground, watching and he tumbled over his own paws on his way to Mai.** _

_**His younger sister, only thirteen, lay sprawled on her back, ready to be smothered in puppy kisses.** _

_**Dryly, Tooru poked at her. "You know he licks his butt with that mouth, right?"**_

_**"Worth it."** _

****Barely able to lift his shaking hand, Gypsy ran his glove down the dogs side.

The Souls voice cracked when he spoke, dry and broken. "Hey, baby. How's my good boy. Such a good boy."

His attempt at cooing was mediocre at best, but the dog tensed, tail thumping happily in spite of that. 

_We probably would've froze to death if he hadn't found us._

Tooru didn't even acknowledge him, practically vibrating with glee in their shared mind. 

_He's alive, Katashi's alive, so, so Mai has to be. Right? And Takeru, and Aiko?_

_It is their dog afterall. It would make sense._

Despite his rational thoughts, Gypsy felt his pulse race at the thought; everyone he'd grown to love and care for through Toorus memories, they could be safe. 

_I can't believe we made it._

The adrenaline from seeing the dog was fading, and the Soul felt his eyelids flutter, his body fighting to pull him under.

All around them, the dawn sky was a bloody red, lighting the snow a coral orange.

In the distance, there was a whistle and a sharp  _Katashi!_

And then there was nothing.

 

There was an odd humidity to the air when he woke. It made the air harder to breath, but the Soul was so grateful for the warmth, the thought barely processed.

His thick wraps were gone, but there was a tightness wrapping him that told of a blanket, and despite the fact that the heat was almost uncomfortable, he soaked in it, eager to forget the cold. The soft sound of flowing water from somewhere around him seemed to echo throughout the room, adding to the gentle atmosphere. 

Katashi was gone, but Tooru was unbothered and quiet in their mind. His overwhelming sense of relief left little room for much else.

Suddenly needing to stretch, Gypsy rolled, and wriggled his arms free, reaching until his spine burned. His eyes were still closed when a voice broke the silence. 

"Tooru-kun?"

The voice held a strange note, tight, as if they'd forced away the hope they wanted so desperately. Like she already knew the answer to what she asked, and suddenly the insertion scar on the back of his neck occurred to him. Maybe she did.

Pushing his body into a sitting position, he opened his downcast eyes. He did not need to speak for her to know the truth.

Taking a breath, he turned to meet the woman's eyes, heart cold in his chest. 

_"Aiko-nee!"_

Words that were not his own burst forwards from his lips, Tooru ripping free from his shadow, sweeping Gypsy up in his storm of emotions and reaching for her because  _Gods, that's his older sister and she's alive-_

But she avoided his reach, twisting away from his grasping hand, forcing the Soul to catch himself on his palms. They burned where they scraped against the stone, small pebbles stabbing his hands.

Shocked at his bodies outburst, he clapped a bleeding hand over his mouth, and recoiled.

She staggered to her feet, face beet red with tears, and in a rasping whisper, she shook her head. "You're not my brother. Don't ever fucking call me that, you parasite. You took him from us- and, and-"

She shook her head again, and anchored herself against the wall for balance. "You'll never be him."

Aiko staggered out the doorway, and into the dark of the hall, leaving him in a stunned silence, with Tooru withering in the far corner of his mind.

_They, they can't see me. They don't know I'm here, and that we, I came back. Gods, they can't see me._

Gypsy shook, the emotions raw and burning, leaving him shivering despite the heat. He couldn't breath, and half of it wasn't even his pain. He didn't know how to deal with feelings like these; it'd never been necessary.

A sob shook through him, and he tightened the hand over his mouth, trying to swallow the sound.

For a moment, the only noises were rasping sobs, and the trickling of the water from somewhere behind him. Tears dribbled  down his face, salty and thick.

Then, the movement of a small figure drew his eye down the dim hall. There was a familiar middle-aged man with spiked and small eyes watching him, leaned against the the intersection wall between two hallways. His face was void of emotion, but his eyes were sharp.

Embarrassed for a reason he couldn't name, he sniffled, and looked away. Then he shook off his reservations. "Please tell me, are Mai and Takeru alright? Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, Mastukawa?"

Tooru, stilled in their aching head, and quieted, praying.

But then a sound echoed from down the hall, and the man turned away instead of responding, disappearing into the gloom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! so this is super self indulgent lol  
> still hope you enjoy it tho, and if u see mistakes or have questions just leave a comment, they're rly appreciated :) thanks for reading!!
> 
> (and def check out the book, its sooo good)


	2. noon sun and silver eyes

The days that followed were the worst for Tooru. Gypsy didn't need to ask to know why; seeing Aiko had left him brimming with questions, but drenched in longing.

Coupled with the fact she hadn't returned, it'd left an emotion he couldn't name burning like wildfire inside Tooru, so intensely present that it tangled with Gypsys own worry.

The isolation only made it worse, an endless loop of thoughts that Gypsy couldn't seem to shake.

Gypsy wasn't Tooru, and the humans knew that. Gypsy knew that.

But they also didn't know Tooru was still here.

And he had no idea how to tell them, or even if they'd be able to before it was too late.

The reality that both Gypsy and Tooru were painfully aware of was how awfully fake it would sound to say Tooru was still here. How unrealistic it would sound to say a human could live on inside after a Soul.

Sighing, he took one of the flatter stones from the stream, and flicked his wrist, watching it skip once before sinking on the current. Tooru had taught him that some hours ago after the boredom had become to much, albeit reluctantly, accompanied with a memory of a river wider than Gypsy had ever seen, and the grinning face of a father he hadn't seen in two years.

**_The breeze was gentle, ruffling the fall leaves and carrying the coolness of the river across the back of Toorus neck._ **

**_He shivered._ **

**_The bank was covered in smooth, green and gray stones instead of sand, and farther down, his dad was crouched, sifting through pebbles. The shadows from the spinning leaves blanketed the riverside in a patchwork of shade, and beside him, the river stretched wide, water moving smoothly, the warm afternoon light shattering on the water._ **

**_After a moment, he stood, holding a thin, perfectly round stone up in victory._ **

**_"Here," He tossed the stone."Catch."_ **

The Soul picked up another, more triangular stone, watching it skip twice. He was still in the cave with the stream, one he had been pleasantly surprised to discover ran warm.

He'd grown used to the humidity from the warm water, just as he'd grown used to the fact the that if he were to stand to his full height, he'd bash his skull against the ceiling. He supposed he should just be grateful the cave was at least longer than it was tall. 

The ache resting in the base of the Souls spine could always be worse. And the bruises from the stone floor would fade away eventually.

 _If they get the chance,_ Tooru commented wryly.

Not in the mood to argue, Gypsy simply shook his head. "It's better than the snow, Tooru." 

His voice was scratchy from disuse, and he cleared his throat. 

To be fair, the Soul admitted, their conditions could have been better as well. The only source of light was a small gas lamp that had been set near the cave entrance, and it didn't do much besides cast flickers of orange every few feet, leaving the cave empty except for him, and the occasional tray of food left at the lip of the cave. 

They never seemed to deliver it when he was awake.

So far, there had been four food deliveries, and if Toorus' internal clock was right, they'd been in the cave for four days. Gypsy himself found it harder to keep track of the planets quick rotation, and simply agreed.

A noise echoed from farther down the halls, a sort of scrambling, like claws against stone, and Gypsy turned, watching as a blur of brown and white appeared from the gloom, hurtling towards them at full speed. 

He squinted, his glasses lost to the snow, but then a small smile broke over the Souls face, Gypsy turning on his knees to face the dog. Katashi bowled into him, the warmth of another living thing achingly welcome. 

"Hey, pretty boy," He scratched behind the dogs ears, letting him lick over his face, ignoring Toorus thoughts of how gross it was. Gypsy could tell he didn't even really mind.  

"Hello," someone said gently at the entrance of the cave, and Gyspy flinched backwards, and felt himself be pushed down by the dogs weight and into the stream. 

He hadn't even heard them arrive, too distracted by the Bernard. 

Heart beating way to fast, and a covered in a strange panicked warmth, he pushed himself out of the water and into a bow, Katashi still licking at his face. The urge to speak and Tooru's frantic pushing left him dizzy, but he held his tongue.

"Oh, um, you really don't have to bow to me." 

Slowly, he pushed himself up, feeling droplets of water drip down his back. When he glanced at the boys face, a wave of recognition flooded through him. The boys hair was silver, and his face gentle, and Tooru pushed his name out of their mouth before Gypsy could stop him. "Refreshing-kun!"

Gypsy slapped a hand over his mouth, face a bright red, and bowed again. "I apologize, um, Sugawara-san, is it? I did not intend for that to happen. This body has rather strong reactions"

 _Ask him, ask him, ask him-,_ Tooru chanted practically vibrating, and Gypsy rubbed his brow, ignoring him with mild annoyance.

Sugawara watched him with veiled interest, his brows furrowed. "You remember me."

Slowly, he eased out of his bow, "You played volleyball against Tooru in high school."

"I did." Sugawara tilted his head slightly. "It's strange hearing your words out of his mouth." He said, almost an afterthought.

Sugawaras eyes widened, and he laughed apologetically. "Sorry, I don't know if that's considered rude of not. It's just, I didn't even know him that well, and I can tell."

Inside their head, Tooru listened smugly, but he batted him away, before answering. "It's alright, I don't mind. I...don't believe there's proper etiquette for something quite like this."

Sugawara nodded, still studying him, and the silver ring around his eyes occurred to him. The humans probably didn't see it much.

Maybe they saw it too much.

There was a beat of silence, Katashi's panting the only noise in the quiet of the room.

"...Do you have a name?" 

The Soul met his eyes, nodding. "Gypsy Crossing Mountains,"

Sugawara hummed in acknowledgement. "European,"

"My healer was best at English," Gypsy agreed.  

Sugawara brushed his hair back, pushing it out of his eyes. "You have a very long name, Gypsy-kun. But so do I, I suppose. You can call me Suga, if you'd like." 

 _You humans really do have a thing for shortening names,_ He thought at Tooru.  _Why even give long names to begin with if you simplify them?_

_Does it really matter?_

_I suppose not._

_Gypsy, please ask about them, please, please-_

Gypsy swallowed, pushing Tooru away. "If you don't mind me asking, why are being so kind to me, Suga-san?"

The shorter boy looked at him, then slid down the wall, tucking his legs under him. "I guess because no one else is, or is in the position to be."

 _That doesn't make sense,_ Tooru interjected, not liking the random compassion.

"I'm not human. I took this body from you. Maybe not you specifically, but it's stolen. I don't see how you benefit from your kindness."

Sugawaras eyes never changed. "You think only Souls can do meaningless kindness, be inherently good?"

He didn't reply, surprised by his own lack of answer. All he'd been going by was Toorus natural caution.

"Anyways," Sugawara continued, unperturbed, "I'm really not supposed to be here, but no one else knows what to do with you so this is better than nothing, no? And besides, Katashi missed you. Aiko has had a real struggle keeping him from you."

Both Tooru and Gypsy perked at her mention, but he tried to curb their eagerness. "How is she? I...I imagine my appearance wasn't the reunion she'd hoped for."

The other boy didn't answer right away, seeming to struggle with it. "You have Toorus memories, if I'm correct. You should be able to least guess how she's taking it."

_Not well, then._

"But, I'll tell you if you really want to know." This time, when he spoke, he seemed to be watching the Soul with careful eyes. "She-"

"Suga!" A deep voice echoed down the hall, a head of spiked hair appearing from the shadows. "What the hell are you doing down here alone?"

 _Ukai,_ Tooru provided, sounding like he almost didn't believe it.  _Looks like the Crows seemed to make it._

 _Seems it's hard to kill a murder,_ Gypsy agreed.

The spikes of his hair had grown out, the blonde completely gone from his hair, and there were heavy stress lines between his eyes and lining his mouth.

 _Like Iwa-chan,_ Tooru interjected helpfully.

When the man entered the room, Sugawara had already gotten to his feet to greet him, hands turned outwards, but was grabbed by the jaw and shoved against the wall. He gasped, eyes widening with alarm, apparently stunned to silence as his face was forced upwards. 

There was a moment of dead quiet, Katashi perking from where he'd been napping.

Then Ukai found what he was looking for, or, rather, the lack of, and shoved him into the hall. "Get the fuck out of here, Suga, and take the damn dog!"

"Katashi, out," Ukai whistled, motioning, then frowned.

The man seemed to realize Katashi wasn't budging, and turned towards the pair, as if intending to pull the dog away. 

Gypsy misread that.

 _Get back,_ Tooru realized a second before Ukai shoved at him, and Gypsy ducked out of the way of his hands, scrambling farther back into the corner, only to have the St. Bernard lunge forward with a bark, snapping at the man. 

"What the hell," Ukai muttered, eyes narrowing, and tried again, but that only angered the dog further, his hackles raising. "Down, Katashi!"

Gyspy knew how this was going to go, Tooru having been through this before, and his voice was panicky when he spoke. "He will bite you, please be careful," 

_Well, if he gets bit he can't bite us!_

The man tensed when he spoke, turning to study his face, a deeper anger growing. "Do you see what they did to this fucking kid? Do you understand he's gone, and that the Oikawa you knew and played against, would've never said anything like that? They erased him. He's gone."

Gypsy watched Ukai grit his teeth, and winced. "Do you fucking see that, Suga?"

Sugawaras eyes were bleak and his mouth a hard line, his gentle exterior peeled back. "You think I'm a fool, Ukai?"

There was a strange, silent exchange, but Ukai was still tense with mistrust, his figure terrifying.

"Can't you see he recognizes him?" Sugawara said, watching, a strange look on his face.

His words made the man pause, and he studied Gypsy again, eyes dipping to Katashi. His posture was tense, broad shoulders blocking the dim light from the lamp, and Gypsy was supremely grateful Sugawara hadn't left when he'd been told to.

"Could be a fluke. His scent's probably the same, and they all miss him. Of course the damn dogs' excited."

Suga shook his head. "When have you ever seen them react like Katashi did."

Tooru mirrored Gypsys confusion, but was still stuck on the  _they_  Ukai mentioned earlier.

The man pinched the bridge of his nose, and exhaled heavily through it, seeming to give in. "Fine. The dog can stay, but you're leaving."

He turned on his heel, giving Gypsy a final disgusted look, and herded Sugawara down the hall. 

"See you tomorrow, Gypsy!" Sugawara called, his voice echoing on stone.

 

 

Somehow, they did see him the next day, and he arrived carrying the tray of bland broth and root vegetables, the food still warm.

After a few minutes of silence, he'd grown curious, and he'd asked how they grew the vegetables, Sugawara simply saying fluorescents and soil. A easy chat continued, much of their talk revolving around that sort of thing, until Tooru grew bored inside their head, pressing him to ask the litany of questions he'd been storing.

_Should I ask about Takahiro, or any of them?_

_No,_ Tooru thought, a painful ache echoing through him,  _I don't think he'll_ _answer that unless we trick him into that, and I don't think you can. Ask him about what he was going on about with Katashi yesterday._

 _Souls are honest beings, Tooru,_ He teased gently, trying to distract him.

_Yeah, whatever, I know._

He was still thinking about them.

Gypsy let him be.

"Gypsy?" Sugawara waved a hand in front of his face, eyes curious. "You zoned out."

"Oh," He laughed apologetically, scrambling for an explanation. "I was just wondering what you meant yesterday when Ukai and you were talking about Katashi."

He winced internally, not meaning to be so blunt.

The dog had left sometime when they'd slept, seeming to come and go as he pleased. It was good. He didn't think he could handle being alone again.

"Okay," Sugawara said, relaxing further against the wall. "I'll tell you, but you have to tell me something in return."

Suspicion hung in the back of his thoughts, and vaguely, he wondered why the latter seemed so unbothered, but he agreed anyways.

"Dogs never react well when they find their owners after they've been, occupied, for lack of better words." Suga scratched his neck. "When Katashi found you, he howled, and howled, and it's just something we haven't seen. It's like he didn't get that Oikawa is gone. That's why Aiko-san thought you- that Tooru, hadn't been erased." 

Gypsy nodded, not seeing where this was going.

Tooru, on the other hand, seemed at a lost for words. _Holy shit._

 _What is it?_   

Tooru ignored him, focused on Suga.

"-probably why she reacted so badly when we found the scar on the back of your neck, and then when you lunged towards her calling her Aiko-nee with your eyes all...silver." He gestured vaguely. "Kind of brutal."

The grey haired boy shrugged, and for a moment, his eyes were dangerously sharp. "In all fairness, I probably wouldn't react well either if my little sister showed up with silver eyes."

Gypsy said nothing, feeling a sudden sickness as the thought of Sugas younger sister. He swallowed.

"Anyways," the boy took a breath, forcing a sharp smile, "I thought it was strange that he still seemed to excited when I brought him to you yesterday. That he was still so excited, as if he didn't realize Tooru was gone."

 _It was on purpose,_ Gypsy thought, confused.

 _I know._  Tooru offered little commentary.

"And then, when I talked to you, your perspective was...warped. It was human, in a way. You know your body is stolen, and in any Soul I've met, they've never acknowledged the theft."

Suga smiled at him. "Will you answer my question now?"

Stunned, he paled, alarm bells ringing at the expression on Sugawaras face. He'd almost forgotten that it was his question being answered. "That was the deal, of course."

The other boy nodded, pleased. "We don't always fade away, do we? When you put Souls in, I mean. Otherwise, it wouldn't make sense; why would the Seekers risk the life of a Soul, something we  _know_ they wouldn't do, for the sake of finding us.

"Why leave you without any hope of getting back, in the middle of the mountains? Why would you be aware of what was not yours? Unless Oikawa really just did love that strongly, and it somehow compelled you to find them."

 _He sees everything._ A wave of sickness rolled through him. _What do we do?_

 _We tell him,_ Tooru whispered.  _We lie and say no, why even keep us alive? At least there's a chance if we say yes._

The look on Sugas face was telling enough.

"Can he hear me?" He asked.

_Yes, yes, yes-_

Gypsy nodded, throat dry.

Suga rested his chin on his knees. "Okay."

"You can't tell anyone. They'll kill us, you really can't tell. They'd think we're using you to stay alive, and it'll be over." The desperation in his voice must have been enough, because Suga just nodded, and agreed, considering.

Gyspy bit his lip, before continuing. "...It wasn't like this at first. I resented him; he was supposed to have faded, but that just made him angrier and more present. He made me see how wrong we were, in taking your planet. In the end there wasn't even really a choice; he made me love them."

Sugawara hummed, nodding. "They're alive, you know." 

"...What?"

"Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, Mastukawa, Mai? They made it, days after they lost you."

There was an oddly numb sensation in his chest, the relief so intense he couldn't think. Tooru mirrored him, deathly silent.

"I remember how broken they were, for the longest while, just waiting for you to appear. And you never did. Until now; and now they're broken all over again."

"Are you playing with me, Sugawara-san?" His family, they were safe, safe,  _holy fuck, Gypsy, they're alive, alive, here, they're here._

Suga shook his head. "Matsun and Iwa-kun haven't let anyone come near you. Except me, of course, but they trust me not to kill you when I bring your food."

"Kill me? Wait, how could they even monitor? Are they here? Where are they?" He pushed himself onto his hands and knees, stomach rolling. Inside, Tooru was losing it, practically vibrating as he pushed against Gypsy for control.

Suga matched him, gently trying pushing him back down. "Gypsy, Iwa doesn't know Tooru's alive, he'll hurt you, you can't see him."

 _"Please,"_ Toorus' voice came through, raw and desperate, echoing through the stone passages loudly.  _"Please, Please!"_

Sugas eyes widened, but he didn't budge. "He won't see you, Tooru! He'll see Gypsy, listen to me!"

Gyspy shoved at Tooru, letting himself be pushed by Suga at the same time, until they were both seated again, the Soul back in control. He was panting, he realized vaguely. Tooru wasn't backing down.

"Why won't he let anyone near me, Suga-san? Hanamaki couldn't hurt me, neither could Mai!"

Suga watched him, wary of another outburst, but answered. "Him and Matsun take shifts watching the entrance to these halls. I can't tell you the layout, but the set-up allows for only one person to watch. They do it because if they didn't, you would have been dead the day you opened your eyes. You really think the people here feel safe with a Soul in their home?"

 _But where's Mai? Hanamaki?_  

"But where are Mai and Hanamaki?"

Sugawara gave him a pitying look, and Tooru snarled, thrashing desperately. "Iwa-kun and Matsun, and Aiko especially aren't letting Mai anywhere near you. Hanamaki is in the same boat. They're soft. It would only hurt them."

Gypsy shook his head. "Do you really believe that?"

"It's not about what I believe."

Tooru surged again, and their left arm twitched, jerking forward. Gypsy bit his cheek. "Then what's the plan? Keep us here forever?"

 _No,_ Tooru thought wildly,  _They won't. They can't._

The thought of it brought physical pain to Gypsy, Toorus words burning in their mind. But, how could they know? And why keep a parasite safe; it would only hurt them further.

"I don't know." He glanced at a watch on his wrist, the glass glinting in the light. "It's been twenty'. I've got to go, or they'll shorten it tomorrow."

Gypsy hadn't even realized they were on timer. "Wait, Suga-san,"

The silver blonde had gotten to his feet, reaching towards the ceiling of the hall in a stretch. "Yeah?"

There was a lump in his throat when he spoke. "If they decide to kill me...let me say goodbye, okay?"

His amber eyes widened, but after a moment, he nodded. "See you, Gypsy."

 

When he wakes up later in the night, it's not to Sugawaras soft voice, but the shattering of glass, and hands around his throat.

He can't help but think their eyes are horribly cat-like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh i yeeted this out in 2 days 
> 
> anyways thanks for reading! i really hope you enjoy it even if it is super self indulgent ah  
> my tumblr is @kindacurly and if u have any questions just ask! also let me know if you find any mistakes lol
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated :)


	3. dusk and blooming bruises

The hands around his throat are rough with callouses, Gypsy thinks. They scrape the skin of his neck as his fingers tighten, and Gypsy freezes where he's pinned, the cool stone floor unforgiving.

It's only because of Tooru that he manages to take a breath, the setter deciding to move for him. 

Somehow, Gypsy ends up in the backseat, watching helplessly as Tooru takes control. Instead of prying at the hands around his throat, Tooru bucked wildly, and somehow freeing his arms, dug his thumbs into his attackers eyes. When he shouted, flinching, Tooru rolled, knocking him off.

Finally able to take a breath, Tooru coughed, eyes glassy, staggering to his feet.

The man didn't wait for him to gather his bearings, tackling him again. Tooru shouted in pain, his knee hitting the stone, the noise bouncing off the narrow cave walls. The man clapped a hand over his mouth, tensing at his voice.

Pinned on his stomach, Gypsy saw few options, but Tooru surprised him again, biting down hard on the hand over their mouth. 

"Shit," He heard him curse, and Tooru stopped in shock at his voice.

 _Don't stop!_ Gypsy thought desperately, completely useless from where Tooru had pushed him.

"Kuroo?" He rasped, ignoring the Soul.

But his moment of hesitance had already cost him, and Gypsy felt his hands wrap around their throat again, Tooru able do nothing but choke.

"Don't say my name, parasite! You don't get to fucking call me that." His breath was hot against the back of Tooru's neck.

Then, the weight was lifted from his back, and Tooru crawled to his hands and knees, clutching his throat. His lungs burned with every breath, leaving him hacking pathetically.

He turned in time to see a figure whip his fist into the face of his attacker. He watched as Kuroo staggered, then spit a glob of red, grinning. "You really gunna choose him over me, Mastun?"

Gypsy felt their heart stutter.

The answering voice sent Tooru shaking. "Back the fuck off, Kuroo. I don't want to hurt you, but, gods, I will."

"Issei," Toorus voice was weak, and barely there, and did nothing to gain the attention of the brawling duo.

Seeing him alive and human was more than either had dared to hope for, and Toorus heart burned in his chest. The year of separation did nothing to dull the roar of love that burst at the sight of his face. 

It only added fuel to the blaze, and Gypsy found himself drowning in the wake of it. How could Tooru live like this before? Surrounded constantly?

"So, what was the plan then? Keep him here, an extra mouth to feed, for what? So you could have a shell of what used to be him? It's not right, Matsun!" Kuroo jerked his knee up, striking Matsukawa, then ducked for Tooru, but this time, the setter was ready. 

He jerked out of the way, desperately kicking to keep him at bay, and then realized he was at the mouth of the cave. He kicked towards him, his foot sinking into Kuroos stomach and sending him stumbling back into Matsukawa, who had just recovered. He got to his knees, not waiting to see if they collided.

Kuroo wouldn't hurt Issei. Not seriously, at least.

There was a grunt, and the sick sound of skin on skin, and after an empty beat, a thud. 

The stream seemed loud in the sudden silence.

_One of them is down,_

Fear racing through Tooru as Gypsy's realization, he turned tale, not intending to find out who won, but an arm wrapped around his waist, preventing his escape. "Stop,"

Tooru felt his eyes burn, tears spilling down his face, and clamped his eyes shut, the idea of Issei seeing them making him sick. He slapped a hand over them for an extra measure, not fighting the arms around him. "Issei," 

The body behind him stiffened, and Tooru continued, rushing to speak through the tears. "Please wait, it's me, please, please-"

"No." The taller boy dropped him, voice empty. "Don't."

He landed hard on his knees and winced, a hand still covering his eyes. Tooru turned himself over, hoping he was facing Matsun, and then the words bubbled out. "Souls don't speak like this, and they wouldn't fight back, you have to believe it's me, Gypsy won't fight people!"

There was a moment of silence, and then there was a sliver of anger in the normally passive boys voice. "Tooru is dead. You having his body doesn't change anything. No matter bullshit story you spin to stay alive. And who the fuck is Gypsy?"

Gypsy felt the physical effect the rejection had on Tooru, the burst of nausea, the pressure his ribs. He withered, heart burning, lungs screaming.

_Tooru, you have to breath-_

"Shut _up_ , Gypsy!" Tooru pressed his palms into his eyes, trying not to choke on his tears. "You did this, you-" He broke off in a frustrated scream.

Gypsy recoiled, hurt racing through him, but Tooru ignored him, burying his face in his knees. He was sobbing now, overwhelmed by being in control for the first time in nearly a year.

Able to do nothing but watch, Gypsy quieted.  _I'm sorry._

A hand landed on Toorus shin after a moment, and Tooru flinched, sucking in a breath.

The urge to speak bubbled to his lips despite knowing he shouldn't, but he was unable to help himself. "I'm so sorry. Even if you don't think it's me, I'm so, so sorry. I, I shouldn't have gone back for Yahaba, he was already gone, but I couldn't not try. And, and,"

He cut himself off with desperate heaves for air, and rubbed his nose over his knee. "I don't know when I'm going to be able to say it again, so just know that I love you so much, I love all of you so much."

After a beat of silence, Matsukawa spoke, a note of uncertainty colouring his voice. "Open your eyes,"

Tooru laughed wetly. "You don't want me to. Not really."

_It'll ruin him._

The thought hung heavy between them.

There were several quick footfalls, someone running down the hall. "Issei!"

Tooru felt himself sink further into despair, knowing how much worse his situation was about to become. All he had said was one word, but his heart jumped at the prospect of seeing him. Hearing his voice was already so much.

"Issei, are you okay?"

"Haijme," He heard Matsukawa stand, moving to meet him.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Iwaizumi paused. "Is that Kuroo?"

Maybe Matsukawa nodded, but Tooru couldn't tell. 

When Iwa spoke again, anger dripped off his words. "He did fucking what?" 

Tooru pressed a hand against the wall, shifting till his back was pressed against it, and tried to hold as still as possible.

There was the sound of hushed voices, and then a woosh of air by Tooru. "Let me see your neck."

Tooru flinched, pressing further into the wall. "Why?" 

"I have to check your throat for swelling." There was no warmth in his tone, only a simmering anger, and Gypsy could feel Tooru crack a just little more.

_They think I'm you._

Gypsy felt Tooru dig his nails into his palms. Then, he pulled the heels of his palms away from his eyes, and tilted his jaw up. Iwaizumis hands were achingly gentle when they met the muscle of his neck.

"Maybe you should just finish what Kuroo started. It'd probably be a lot easier on everyone." 

Iwaizumis hand stilled from where they held his jaw. "I didn't know Souls could talk like that."

"Mmm," Tooru didn't answer. Iwaizumi pulled his hands away, and Tooru relaxed against the wall. 

_You're just going to let them think your're gone?_

_It's not about if I want to let them or not._

Gypsy didn't like his answer.

"It's going to bruise, but you'll be fine." 

_Nothing about this is fine._

He listened to Iwaizumi stand, hearing him speak low to Matsukawa under his breath. "It's the fucking bastard who should be worried."

Matsuns words were cool. "He'll get what he deserves."

"But we agreed that it was  _our_ decision, not his. If Kozume showed up, would we be marching off to kill him?"

There was a deep sigh. "I'll go grab Kuroo. He's passed out in there."

"I know."

He listened to Matsukawa pick up Kuroo, startling when Iwa kicked his shoe. "You. Back in the cave."

Tooru nodded blankly, a strange numbness gathering in his fingers. Trailing a hand against the wall, he stumbled back into the dark of the cave, crunching over glass, and thought mournfully of his lamp.

His eyes were still closed when he listened to them walk away.

 

 

When they wake sometime later, it's Gypsy who rolls over, stretching until he hears his shoulders pop.

Tooru is locked away inside him, an aura of misery hanging from his thoughts. They had tried switching back and forth a couple times without luck, only adding to the somber atmosphere.

Now that he's had a taste of freedom, there's a restlessness to him. He wants to get up, and find Mai or Hanamaki, wants to scream from the top of his lungs that he's  _still here_ but Gypsy knows there's nothing he can do. 

He can feel Tooru cracking, and he doesn't know how much time he has to rectify that, because if Tooru disappears, Gypsy almost thinks he will too.

He can feel Tooru cracking, because seeing them had almost done more harm than good; if he knows they're safe, why does it matter if they see _him_?

And gods, it had exhausted him-wrestling control from the Soul had taken most of his energy.

There was a sick feeling settling in Gypsys gut. His existence was the ultimate cause, after all. And why live on without what has become his literal other half if he's the one doing the killing.

Idly, he thinks Tooru might have made Gypsy love him too.

To make matters even worse, they still had no lamp, and without Suga, no hope of another.

Gypsys stomach gurgled at the thought of him. He hadn't eaten, and without the regular meals, his sense of time had also been muddled. 

The ache in his throat had worsened in that time, and was tender to the touch. 

Katashi had returned for a bit though, curling up in the curves of his body, his soft huffing luring them back to sleep. It was good. Tooru was a little brighter with him here.

 

 

"Gypsy," Suga breathes quietly, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up. Yo, Gypsy,"

The Soul grunted, and rolled away from Suga, still dipped in sleep. When he had flipped to his chest, he stretched, then sighed deeply.

"Hey, Suga." He said, a haziness clinging to his words.

 _Oh,_ Gypsy realized.  _Suga's here._

He pushed himself up, catching the orange flicker of a flame in the silver blondes eye. He had brought him a lamp. His already sore throat tightened at the small gesture of kindness.

Suga said nothing, only handing him the tray with a smile Gypsy couldn't seem to understand.

Tooru got it though, a deep sadness blooming his thoughts.

"I overheard Matsun talking to Iwa-kun." Suga said.

He didn't want to hear this, he realized. How all they saw was a parasite, how he just wasn't Tooru.

He didn't want Tooru to hear this either, he realized. He didn't want him to hurt, because all he'd been feeling in these past week or so was pain, and he could feel his partner was reaching his limit.

So, Gypsy shook his head. "You don't have to tell me."

Suga chewed his lip, seemingly like he wanted to anyways. In the end, he shrugged, moving on. "How's your neck, then? Want to hear about what happened to Kuroo?"

Almost unintentionally, Gypsy ran his fingers over the bruises. He wondered if they had bloomed the wine red Tooru had known so well, or stayed a gentle purple. They pulsed in time with his heart, every beat an ache.

"My neck is fine." He said. Tooru disagreed. 

"What do you mean, what happened to Kuroo?" A flicker of worry lit his chest. "They didn't do anything extreme to him, right? He didn't really do anything wrong, he was just trying to protect everyone. Tooru would've considered doing the same!"

 _Don't speak for me!_  

The annoyance in the thought made him wince, but Gypsy could feel the lack of true resolve behind his words. Then something firmer, almost an afterthought.

 _I wouldn't **now**_... _I don't think I could._

_Not after having you in my head._

Gypsy rubbed his temples, trying to refocus on Suga, but the other was waiting patiently. "Tooru talking to you?"

The Soul nodded. "He doesn't like me putting words in his mouth."

 Suga laughed. "Lots of irony in that one. And about Kuroo," 

His eyes sharpened. "He had no right to do what he did. You didn't ask to be put in Tooru, and if anything, you brought him here. That's more than anyone could've asked for. And besides, we agreed when you arrived, what Kuroo wants for you doesn't matter."

"The who's decision does matter?" Gypsy asked, suddenly realizing how few things he knew about the base. He didn't even know how many people there were, who was in control. Truly, he didn't even know if it was a base.

Pity worked it's way onto Sugas face. "Anyone who has a claim to your body. Mai, Aiko, Hanamaki, you know. Iwaizumi, Mastukawa..."

There was a lump in their throat. "And what is it they want?"

"They...don't really know either. And after yesterday, everything's up in the air again. But after what I overheard last night, I think Matsukawa might know."

"About Tooru?"

Sugawara nodded.

When Tooru didn't react, Gypsy paused, feeling for him.  _Tooru?_

He didn't answer, but the Soul knew he was listening.  _Isn't that a good thing?_

_I don't know. I don't know if them knowing I'm trapped in here is any better._

Gypsy cleared his throat. "Why would you think that?"

"Because all he was saying to Iwa, over and over again, was how it seemed so much like you, how you kept saying you loved him. He kept saying how you fought back, and that Souls just don't do that. Which brings me to my next point; how did you get away from him?"

Gypsy was silent for a moment, Tooru equally as unsure of what to say.

Suga answered for him. "Here's my theory; You gave Kuroo two back eyes, and if I'm honest, I don't think Gypsy could do that. But I think Tooru could."

Tooru felt a moment of glee at Kuroos predicament.

There was a shuffling sound down the passage, and Gypsy looked up, watching the empty hall.

Then, his eyes flicked to Suga, chest tight. "And if it was Tooru?"

No matter if it was Tooru or not, his eyes marked him a Soul, even if he wasn't in control. It wouldn't matter.

He couldn't see where Suga was going with this.

"Then I'd ask if he was able to do that whenever he wanted."

Gypsy pulled his knees to his chest, a bitterness hanging off his words. "I'd have to say he can't. I don't even know how he did last night." 

Suga said nothing, so Gypsy continued. "All I know is he was just so angry, to come all this way and then die like that? I was just...pushed? And then he was steering. His hold got even stronger when Matsukawa appeared.

"And gods, his emotions were everywhere. I was just drowning in them, and all I could do was watch as he tried and tried to tell Mastukawa he was here. Do you know how much this hurts him?"

The pity still clung to Sugas face in a thick mask.

Gypsys voice broke. "Being around them, but unable to do anything. Not being able to see them. It's killing him. And I don't know what to do, because I'm so afraid Tooru is going to disappear before there's a chance."

There was a pause, Gypsy rubbing his face, trying to collect himself. "So what would you think then?"

It wasn't Suga who spoke next. "I'd say I'm not surprised Tooru managed to annoy a Soul into coming and finding us."

If Tooru had been muted before, his presence was like thunder now. Gypsy glanced up, accidentally meeting Matsukawas eyes from where he stood in the doorway, saying nothing. 

Matsukawa flinched.

Inside their head, Toorus presence weighed heavily on his thoughts, pushing until Gypsy winced.  _I want, I want-_

Suga put a hand on his arm, shooting a glare at Matsukawa. "I told you to wait and listen, not make a damn appearance!"

Mastukawa met his gaze, brows furrowed. "Were you listening to him? Did you clue in at all to the fact he can feel Tooru disappearing?"

Tooru jolted at his name, heart aching. His voice was soft.  _It's almost worse seeing him now, somehow._

 _Yeah, but at least your not dissolving somewhere where we can't get to you._ Gypsy disagreed.

Suga said something back, but Gypsy had missed it, distracted by Tooru. He looked at the two, both of their postures now stiff, and felt his chest tighten. 

The silver blonde continued. "-Course I care, but what if your presence does more harm than good?"

Matsukawa shook his head. "We don't have the time to try out all the what ifs, Suga. Kuroo wasn't the only one not willing to wait for a verdict."

"Mastun," Suga stood, ducking his head till he was in the doorway, blocking the entrance. His voice was low when he spoke, but Tooru had always had great ears. "Don't. We can't push him. I can't keep piecing him back together."

Idly, Gypsy wondered when Suga had grown to care for them. It seemed wrong, in a way, because no matter how this ended, he'd just be collateral damage.

_He cares about **you** , dumbass._

_And why on earth would he do that?_

_For the same reasons I do, probably. I mean, it's hard not to with you being a genuinely good person, like an asshole._

Gypsy could hear Mastukawa pleading. "Five minutes. You don't even have to leave the halls, just let me talk to him."

Panic was an emotion Gypsy had grown used to the past weeks, but it's sudden appearance was just as biting. Why would Matsukawa want to talk to him? He knew by now that Gypsy wasn't Tooru. 

Sugas voice was sharper than his eyes. "Five minutes. If you hurt him-"

"You think 'Hiro would ever forgive me if I hurt him? You think I  _want_ to?"

Suga looked him up and down, then closed his eyes. "Five minutes."

Then, he stepped out further into the hall, disappearing around the one of the corners farther down. Then Gypsy was alone with Matsun.

The first thing he did was take a hesitant step in, ducking his head, and take a seat a few meters away. His legs sprawled out in front of him, stretching to somewhere near where Gypsy was leaning on the wall.

Tooru watched him desperately, drinking in his presence. Being this close again was agonizing; Gypsy could feel the burn of how much Tooru wanted him, in every sense of the word. He loved him, after all. 

"You aren't Tooru." Matsukawa started. It wasn't a question, but Gypsy shook his head anyways. 

"No, I'm not. But you already knew that."

Mastukawa nodded. "The eyes were a bit of a giveaway. Kind of surprised me, but I can work around them."

There was a beat of silence, Tooru not liking it.  _He's acting weird._

Gypsy agreed.  _Work around?_

"I miss him," Matsun said. "So much. It hurts to think about him gone, and it should hurt worse to imagine him trapped in there, but you know what?"

He said nothing.

"It doesn't. And maybe that makes me a monster, because even I can see how selfish that is, but him being truly gone would be the worst thing."

Tooru didn't even care. He knew he'd say the same. It wouldn't be fair to be angry.

"No," Gypsy said. "It doesn't make you a monster. I don't see why it matters, anyways. You think he's dead."

His words made the other boy visibly uncomfortable, but Matsukawa shook it off. "Maybe. But his body is still alive."

_What?_

"What?" Gypsy echoed.

Mastukawa shifted forward, leaning into his space, and Gypsy flattened himself against the wall, feeling sick.

"It's his body," He repeated, a strange glint in his eyes.

"What are you do-"

Matsukawas hands came up, curling around his jaw, and hundreds of memories raced through Gypsys mind of sensations exactly like this, of his mouth presssed against Matsukawas, of the little hum Issei always gave before their lips met, and then he was being kissed.

Heart drumming in his hears, Gypsy felt Tooru  _shove_ and suddenly, he was watching as Tooru took control.

Belatedly, he realized Tooru hadn't done it consciously, a wave of his anger having overcome the Soul, but felt a wave of giddiness overcome his horror at Matsukawa when Toorus presence rebounded with vigor.

Tooru pushed Matsukawa away, then tipped sideways, a wave of vertigo washing over him, and Matsun lurched forward to steady him, which just made Tooru angrier. Along with the vertigo, sensation flooded him, pins and needles raced down his limbs, then back, collecting in the back of his neck in a ball of nerves before dissolving.

Gypsy wondered if there had been to much adrenaline to notice that when Kuroo had attacked.

Tooru put his hands on the ground, steadying himself while stopping their shaking.

“What the hell, Matsukawa?” Tears built in his eyes, and he snarled, wiping them angrily. He shook his head, tongue seeming to big for his mouth.

Gypsy could feel Toorus rage, and he shivered.

His words were a little slurred, when he spoke again but the anger in them was undeniable. "Do you truly not give a damn fuck,” He paused, catching Matsuns teary grin.

Then Matsukawa said his name, voice horribly soft, as if he almost didn't want to believe, and Tooru realized. 

“You were testing me?”

Tooth glared at him through tear filled eyes, the taller wincing at the silver-blue, but nodding.

Matsun sniffled, a watery grin on his face as he touched their foreheads together, noses brushing. “Hey, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what happened but i got super motivated, and im just rolling out these chapters.  
> i should probs wait to post this but oh well lol  
> anyways let me know if there's any mistakes, and comments & kudos r rly appreciated!!


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